the seal is for marksmanship (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
tiltingheartand) wrote2017-05-08 03:26 am
tiltingheartand) wrote2017-05-08 03:26 am
however far away
Earlier this evening, while I was helping my mom make her bed, I said, "And while I'm over at Mr. Tire getting my oil changed I can call over and ask if I'm getting the needle at my MRI."
And then, after a pause, "... maybe I'll phrase it a bit differently."
Having had the damn contrast dye at the last two or three MRIs I can remember, it's probably a safe bet that I will; I just like being prepared. (The first time I had to get it I was not prepared, and panicked, and because they had packed my head into the fucking thing I couldn't sit up and calm down despite the fact that I'd started to cry, and it was super-great. This way at least I'll know it's coming. And remember to drink enough water hopefully they won't need to go through three goddamn people before they're sure they can get the needle into my vein.)
I am not much looking forward to my next neurologist's appointment. He's not a terrible guy, perpetual lateness notwithstanding, but I am so, so tired of The Medication Dance. Yes I would prefer terrible headaches to seizures, yes I can still drive with terrible headaches, but I just. There has to be something past this that I can do.
(The fact that I have, once or twice, weighed out the pros and cons of just saying "fuck it" and stopping the damn seizure meds entirely also concerns me.)
And then, after a pause, "... maybe I'll phrase it a bit differently."
Having had the damn contrast dye at the last two or three MRIs I can remember, it's probably a safe bet that I will; I just like being prepared. (The first time I had to get it I was not prepared, and panicked, and because they had packed my head into the fucking thing I couldn't sit up and calm down despite the fact that I'd started to cry, and it was super-great. This way at least I'll know it's coming. And remember to drink enough water hopefully they won't need to go through three goddamn people before they're sure they can get the needle into my vein.)
I am not much looking forward to my next neurologist's appointment. He's not a terrible guy, perpetual lateness notwithstanding, but I am so, so tired of The Medication Dance. Yes I would prefer terrible headaches to seizures, yes I can still drive with terrible headaches, but I just. There has to be something past this that I can do.
(The fact that I have, once or twice, weighed out the pros and cons of just saying "fuck it" and stopping the damn seizure meds entirely also concerns me.)
no subject
We may be even now on number of brain MRIs had total, though mine extend back a further number of years (I just keep dodging follow-ups since my meds have been steady for about a decade, and therefore I can skive off getting scans done ...) but I can say that since I was 13 years old I've never had a contrast-free brain MRI and it's because they, uh, don't work very well.
I've also never in life referred anyone to a contrast-free brain MRI and I've probably done about 500 of those over the last year. The visualization sucks, and therefore in order to get accurate scans, the experience has to suck even more for the patient who is inside a tube with their head in a cage.
no subject
(On the bright side, after the however-many-scans they did when I got pulled out of the tube and she came in to give me the thing, she had no trouble at all finding my vein so I had like. No bruise whatsoever. I didn't even have a mark there the day after. It was great.)