tiltingheartand | (no subject)

The whole problem is -- I'll understand a concept, see, it'll suddenly go click in my brain and except for a few things I'll be okay, and then we'll go on to something else and it'll incorporate the old thing into this new thing and the answer key will only show the steps for the first, like, two problems, so there's just a jump from "here's the setup" to "here's the solution!" with absolutely no intermediate things in-between, and I've discovered (discovered last term, actually, when I found out that my professor liked to skip the in-betwen bits too) that I really really really need that stuff while I'm learning something, so that brief amazing feeling of "I understand the old stuff and I understand the new stuff because my notes rock!" goes away and I just want to scream and cry and sleep and never come out from under my covers.

And more than that I hate hate hate how quickly this subject makes me lose hope. I look at the answer key, and it jumps to a conclusion that looks competely unjustified, and I think "I'm going to NR this course I can't believe how much this sucks I hate myself can I just sleep forever?" whereas if I actually tried to figure out what they were doing, traced the substitution by u and did it out myself so I could maybe figure out where they got that random constant, I'd be perfectly fine. There's just something about it that makes me completely and utterly hopeless, and I cannot stand it.